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November 2, 2014

Therapy

I’ve recently begun meeting with a mental heath professional. While I’d been considering it for years, I think the realization of how great a burden I placed on my mind and heart while dealing with financial issues convicted me of the need to just talk out things with someone.

Truth be told, I’ve needed to talk things out for a while. These years in California have not been my most social or successful (because I don’t consider my net worth as an indicator of success). They’ve been hard, and the few people who I do trust enough to share with candidly are in the wrong place. But even before we moved west, I still wished for someone to confide in.

I’ve not yet confided fully with my therapist, but trust takes time. We’ve started to build a rapport, and that’s important. I’m not in any particularly stressful situation right now, so it’s an opportune moment to set the foundation properly—and it’s only now I’m realizing how important that is. Haste makes waste, and I fear I’ve wasted more opportunities for developing relationships in the past few years than I should have.

In the end, I’m not looking for a breakthrough so much as a clean plate. An opportunity to exist with minimal cognitive overhead—having worked out and documented my foundational principles, I increasingly use those models to manage the reduction of things clogging my mind—little things that should be easily handled. I’m hopeful that this mental health practice, along with physical and spiritual practice, will result in a great leap forward towards the optimized me.

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