January 2012 Archives

January 27, 2012

Boy Becomes Man

There's only so many times that you can look in a mirror before you realize the face you've been seeing is not the face that's being reflected.

When I was young, I refused to believe anything was impossible; it merely needed to be understood. I have a track record of taking on things that are bigger than me (the detractor could argue this as a fancy way of saying "overreaching my capabilities"). All I ever wanted in life was for someone to show me the way.

But now I'm a man. I've a wife, a vocation; a receding hairline... I'm not the kid I used to be no matter how hard I try.

So I've been thinking about what it means to be a man. If I'm honest, it seems a lot of what it means to be a man is to be not a boy. Not inquisitive, not defiant, not hopelessly hopeful. But that's how, deep inside, I really feel. I still think nothing is impossible--only not yet understood. I still am waiting for someone to teach me, though I realize now that It's more likely that I'll be taught through my own errors than any benevolent mentor. Hardly efficient, but I guess men aren't spoon-fed, either.