Improving Self and Image

All my life, I’ve been sensitive to how people perceive me. In fact, much of my personality can be attributed to one habit I’ve had as long as I remember: wondering what other people saw when they looked at me.

My self-esteem has been completely built on the success of this calculated presentation. And while everyone makes a few false judgments on how they are viewed, In general I’ve found myself happy with the consistency I’ve had at providing others with what manifestation of me works best for them.

2009 sent me reeling from some pretty heavy blows regarding my public image, and ultimately I have come to question who in this world is worthy of my trust—myself included. Am I really all that I present myself to be? Are the opinions of others really who I am? Where does opinion become fact, and how does objectivity apply in something as subjective as self?

As a result, I am seriously considering generating a separate method for receiving input about myself, in the hopes that it will reinforce or call into question my existing system of evaluation. If that works well, it could prevent some of the nasty blindesides I’ve gotten in the past year or so.

To be honest, I am coming to terms with who I am. I am smart, but I am slow; I am insightful yet forgetful, and I’m an open-minded skeptic. I think these traits, when recognized, become some of my most defining features. I hope to build my future improving myself based on external data rather than placate the world with a popular mask.

How do you go about auditing your street cred? What tools or activities give you insight to your public reptutation?