« Current 5: A Twitter Music Survey | Home | Religion doesn't work anymore »

May 18, 2009

It's Who I am.

First_Day_Back.jpgI've been neglecting Leftsider. There are so many things that I wanted to write, and the time just hasn't been there. April found me in 4 different countries and relocating all my belongings to a new apartment. A lot of things have changed, and a lot of things have shone that they've never, ever, changed at all.

I turned 30, and I realized that I'm not young anymore. I've never really wanted to be young; it never fit my tastes. That said, I've enjoyed a rather long period as a dual citizen and am rather concerned that new administrations may not see the virtue in renewing my status. And suddenly, it does matter how young I am.

On my 30th birthday I cut my hair for the first time in 8 years, and I cut it rather short. I had dreamed of doing so for years, but had idea what I'd do next. In fact, I knew what I'd do; I'd be--completely and totally for the first time in a long time. It's interesting to see, subsequently, how many people knew me (vs. how many solely knew my hair-sonality).

 I've worked on at least three different themes for Leftsider, never really spending enough time to see them realized before they expire. Creatively, I'm in constant duress; much of my work these days is about troubleshooting, and that is tiring. I hope to adjust the balance very soon.

Overlooked, worn ragged, aging, rebelling, failing to complete. It's who I am. Perhaps someone less inclined to find charm in wabi-sabi would find this unpleasant to declare. But you know, there's one more thing I am: not caring--at all.

Leave a comment